In 2009, The CDC estimated that the average age for first time mothers in the U.S. had jumped from age 21 in 1970 to 25 in 2006. I think it’s even more interesting to see how that number is likely different across different cities in the United States. I’m not a sociologist nor have I looked into many studies, but I can share some thoughts about the differences in the cities I have frequented (Chicago and Los Angeles) .
Correct me if I’m wrong, but it seems that in most large cities in the U.S., even 25 seems very young to have a first child nowadays. These days, 25 even seems young to be getting married. When I was 12 years old, I thought I would be married by 21 and have a kid by 24. Then I hit 21 and realized that my maturity and place in life was not yet suited for marriage and parenting.
During my “quarter life crisis,” I moved to LA and it was around age 25-26 that I noticed and heard about a good portion of my Chicago friends/acquaintances getting married. By 27-28 a larger portion of the Chicagoans were getting married and even starting to have their first babies. It seemed like in Chicago, it was normal to be married and have a kid in your 20’s and also normal to be single and dating.
This did not appear to be the case in LA. My perception of life in LA for a woman was that career came first, and that had to be pursued all throughout one’s 20’s and possibly into one’s mid-30’s before even considering settling down, let alone having a baby. The stereotype of men in their 30’s to 50’s dating “girls” in their 20’s didn’t seem like a stereotype at all, considering I was one of those gals for a moment in time (but, ew, never over mid 40’s!!!!). With a dating dynamic such as that, it’s no wonder people aren’t settling down until later in life…and for many of these men I’ve observed, maybe not ever settling down and trying to play George Clooney for the rest of their lives. So when I got married in Los Angeles at 28, I felt very young compared to my surroundings, however, in Chicago it would seem to be an average age, and in middle of nowhere America, actually pretty old.
So now here I am, 29 years old, turning 30 just a few months after my baby is to be born, and I feel like it’s just the perfect age…for me. In the end, the age doesn’t matter of course, it’s feeling ready and being in the right place and having the right person by your side.
Sivan, I guess that i'm "above average" for chicago.
ReplyDeleteBeing above average is always better than under.
ReplyDeleteDon't forget that those stats include the many, many poor women who have babies in their teens and early twenties, skewing the average. It would be interesting to see the average age based on socio-economic status and level of education.
ReplyDeleteGood point. Having had children earlier than average, it was absolutely right for me, but likely would not be for the majority of women. The best timeline is the one the woman determines is best for her...and then pray for it to work out...but if it doesn't, adapt and create a new one.