A THREE-YEAR OLD IN THREE ACTS:
ACT I:
Flashback to almost 4 years ago in 2014 (because um, 2018!!), Maya had to go to the ENT every so often to get her ear tubes checked. As a motivator/reward, and because it was so close to the appointment, we went to the Dunkin Donuts afterwards. There were lots of people there this one time, and 3 year old Maya looked around and asked, "Did these people all go to the doctor too?"
ACT II:
Bedtime routines are often when we see the comedy come out of our kids. Here is a sample from Maya at age 3:
*I read Maya a bedtime story from Toy Story and at the end I quoted it saying, "Maya, I love you to infinity and beyond!"...Maya said to me, "Mommy, I love you to Bed, Bath, and Beyond!"
*When Ari was a baby, Maya used to talk to his door when he was asleep already. Every night she'd audibly whisper, "Goodnight Ari, I love you, but I don't love you, but I do love you, but I don't. Goodnight!" Ain't that the truth about having a new sibling?
*Mark was using mouthwash and Maya was observing. The bottle was almost empty and Maya said, "You're almost done with your spit drink daddy!"
*Maya was upset about something around bedtime, then her toothpaste accidentally squirted all over. Maya laughed and said, "It's like a sun shower because I'm happy and sad at the same time." Wow - at age 3 she had more insight into the complexity of feelings than many adults I know.
ACT III:
Insulting one's parents often begins young and innocently, and eventually just turns into tween criticism. I learned fast that with Maya, she was already a pre-teen in her toddler years...without further adieu:
1) "Mommy, your breath smells like turkey poop."
2) After watching a video of a song I wrote and sang called, "Protect Our Ears" Maya said, "Maybe we need to protect our ears from this song."
3) When looking at a callous on my toe. "Look how wrinkly your toe is, it's like Ari's penis."
4) "Focus on your story Mom!" - And I hope one day I can.
THEN...
AND NOW.
And scene.
