With the rain and laziness of the day, I thought I’d take the time to have a “deep thoughts by Jack Handy” sort of post:
My belly button is currently on the path to the outie zone, so for now I’d like to say that it’s in the neutral zone. This is the point in time where the inny is stretched so tightly, and the uterus is expanding far out enough that the belly button looks like it’s just about to burst into an outie. I never thought this day would come! I don’t think I’ve ever even known one person who had a true outie other than when pregnant. Thoughts?
Another interesting phenomenon is the linea nigra, the line that many women get running down their tummies. I noticed a line around my 24th week, but it was about as faint as my pregnancy test had been, so I was wondering if I was imagining it. But my husband agrees, there is a faint line there. Weird…
And is anyone out there having lower back pain/hip pain, maybe sciatic, maybe sacroiliac, maybe just baby pain? A month or so ago, I started waking up between 3 to 5 am every night with such bad back pain. Considering this started in the middle of my second trimester, I’ll probably be completely screwed out of sleep in the next trimester.
Today, I read that stretch marks during pregnancy can mostly be attributed to heredity. So if your mama has stretch marks from you, chances are you’ll have ‘em too. Awesome…my growth spurt in puberty left me with enough stretch marks to one day blame on pregnancy, but it seems they could be making a comeback. Can a new stretch mark develop over an old stretch mark? I really wonder!
It’s so fascinating how the body can change so quickly, in some beautiful, other horrifying, and some seemingly pointless ways.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Sunday, December 19, 2010
WHAT IS THE MEANING OF ALL THIS SCREENING?
On this rainy Sunday evening, when my boxes are nearly all packed for moving to a new place, I thought I'd reflect on the not-so-great parts of pregnancy. Not every moment is thrills and giggles, as I discovered. So here it goes...
I, like many first time pregnant women out there, do exactly as my doctors tell me without questioning the rationale. And I learned my lesson the very hard way. When I was 12 weeks along, my doctor told me to go to a prenatal screening center to measure and take blood for a syndrome screening. Little did I know that my husband and I would be on a roller coaster of agony for the next 6 weeks.
During the screening, the doctor told us that the measurements of the fetus were excellent and the blood draw would give us more information. My husband and I left there celebrating our good news and ready to tell everyone about our pregnancy!
Flash forward a week and a half. My test came back with a higher risk for Down Syndrome due to my blood hormone being high. We went in for genetic counseling another week later, and it turns out that about 5% of women in the state (California) receive positive screening results and have completely unaffected babies, it’s just high hormones that fit a possible profile and the screening is usually meaningless. It boiled down to a 2% risk, and many people just wait until the birth to find out. But for those that need to know if the baby is affected, the only conclusive option is to have amniocentesis. Well, I’m generally a planner, a control freak, a type A, and having a 2% risk looming over me was just the same as a 50/50 chance. I was afraid. Because I was afraid, my husband was then afraid too. The ethical/moral dilemmas can be left for another person to delve into, because for me, I just NEEDED to know, so we decided to have the amnio as soon as possible. Unfortunately, because I was around 14 weeks when we made the decision, we still needed to wait another couple of weeks. That way there is less risk of miscarriage. So at 17 weeks, I finally had the amnio and it was not the most fun experience. In fact, it seems I had a worse experience than most other women, because I had a long contraction during the process and the baby also moved close to the needle. Both events resulted in the doctor waiting several minutes with an enormous needed puncturing through my body. All in all, there was minimal physical pain; it was the emotional part that was tough.
As it turned out, the baby is fine and healthy so far, and I am so thankful for that. We went through the emotional toll and expense for nothing, except our sanity.
When I talked to other women about these screenings, it turned out that they or their friends had had similar experiences and decided to go a different route for future pregnancies. I researched and saw there is a later screening I could have taken in my second trimester instead, or I could have opted to have a 20 week anatomy scan without a blood serum test. I felt I had been forced through this process because these screening centers are looking for those few couples that DO come in and have a fetus with a defect or disorder. Hence, I became another statistic pushed through the screening mill like mommy cattle.
I wasted over a month of my pregnancy living in a state of fear and anxiety, and my baby likely suffered because of it. I’m not exactly sure how I’ll handle the screenings if/when I have another pregnancy in the future, but I do know that I won’t blindly follow whatever my doctor or the screening center says. I will question doctors’ orders and understand the purpose of every test and screening I undergo.
Because of the stress my husband and I went through, we decided to try and enjoy every part of the rest of this pregnancy. Every day I am thankful the baby is developing typically, and really hope I never have to come face to face with a 10 inch needle again.
I, like many first time pregnant women out there, do exactly as my doctors tell me without questioning the rationale. And I learned my lesson the very hard way. When I was 12 weeks along, my doctor told me to go to a prenatal screening center to measure and take blood for a syndrome screening. Little did I know that my husband and I would be on a roller coaster of agony for the next 6 weeks.
During the screening, the doctor told us that the measurements of the fetus were excellent and the blood draw would give us more information. My husband and I left there celebrating our good news and ready to tell everyone about our pregnancy!
Flash forward a week and a half. My test came back with a higher risk for Down Syndrome due to my blood hormone being high. We went in for genetic counseling another week later, and it turns out that about 5% of women in the state (California) receive positive screening results and have completely unaffected babies, it’s just high hormones that fit a possible profile and the screening is usually meaningless. It boiled down to a 2% risk, and many people just wait until the birth to find out. But for those that need to know if the baby is affected, the only conclusive option is to have amniocentesis. Well, I’m generally a planner, a control freak, a type A, and having a 2% risk looming over me was just the same as a 50/50 chance. I was afraid. Because I was afraid, my husband was then afraid too. The ethical/moral dilemmas can be left for another person to delve into, because for me, I just NEEDED to know, so we decided to have the amnio as soon as possible. Unfortunately, because I was around 14 weeks when we made the decision, we still needed to wait another couple of weeks. That way there is less risk of miscarriage. So at 17 weeks, I finally had the amnio and it was not the most fun experience. In fact, it seems I had a worse experience than most other women, because I had a long contraction during the process and the baby also moved close to the needle. Both events resulted in the doctor waiting several minutes with an enormous needed puncturing through my body. All in all, there was minimal physical pain; it was the emotional part that was tough.
As it turned out, the baby is fine and healthy so far, and I am so thankful for that. We went through the emotional toll and expense for nothing, except our sanity.
When I talked to other women about these screenings, it turned out that they or their friends had had similar experiences and decided to go a different route for future pregnancies. I researched and saw there is a later screening I could have taken in my second trimester instead, or I could have opted to have a 20 week anatomy scan without a blood serum test. I felt I had been forced through this process because these screening centers are looking for those few couples that DO come in and have a fetus with a defect or disorder. Hence, I became another statistic pushed through the screening mill like mommy cattle.
I wasted over a month of my pregnancy living in a state of fear and anxiety, and my baby likely suffered because of it. I’m not exactly sure how I’ll handle the screenings if/when I have another pregnancy in the future, but I do know that I won’t blindly follow whatever my doctor or the screening center says. I will question doctors’ orders and understand the purpose of every test and screening I undergo.
Because of the stress my husband and I went through, we decided to try and enjoy every part of the rest of this pregnancy. Every day I am thankful the baby is developing typically, and really hope I never have to come face to face with a 10 inch needle again.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Animal Senses
Any time we are on the couch or bed together - me and Emma that is [the baby has to go with me everywhere at this point] – I try to direct her attention to my belly or see if she can feel a kick when she is close by me. The usual result is that she will urgently sniff at my belly button and look for some food to lick from it. No success so far in either sensing the baby or finding food.
Something changed tonight. As we were sitting on the couch together, I decided to take a few minutes to just look at my belly and rub it a little, to give the baby some attention. I don’t think about the baby too much when I’m on the go and I wanted to get some quality time in at the end of the day. I was literally staring at my belly and talking to the baby for a good 5 minutes when I looked over at Emma (2 inches to my left) and she was also staring right at my belly! For another 5 minutes or so, every time I looked back at her, she was looking at that belly! I thought, “Has she had a breakthrough?” She might have just had her attention focused to where my attention was. Even if it was meaningless, I’m going to say that I think her sense of the baby might be increasing. Well, get ready doggie, because in a few months, there’ll be no denying that a baby is around! But Emma will still be my little girl doggie, forever my puppy to love too!
Sunday, December 12, 2010
The Backhanded Belly Compliment
Sure, no one wants to look like a whale when she’s pregnant. And surely, many women must feel wonderful when they are told how thin they’ve remained during their pregnancies. However, there is one statement people (women) make that I am unable to take as flattery after hearing it for the 97th time. The backhanded belly compliment is when you hear this…every day…sometimes more than once a day, “Your belly is so small!” or “You don’t look that pregnant at all!” or “Wait, you’re past 6 months? It looks like you’re only 4 months along!”
I’m sure these sort of comments stem from good intentions, and I distinctly remember myself saying something to this effect to a co-worker once. Unfortunately, these forms of flattery do not make me feel thin, beautiful, and motherly. They make me want to run to the OBGYN first chance I get to make sure my baby is developing at the appropriate rate; that my placenta is still supplying good nutrition; that I’m not totally insane.
Apparently this small belly issue, or non-issue, is quite common with people that are either very fit before their pregnancies, having their first babies (before your stomach muscles have completely relaxed and move South into a pooch), and when one is tall. I happen to fit into all of these categories, which is why my belly seems quite teeny tiny for the baby’s gestational age. I know, boo hoo hoo, I should cry myself to sleep at night being a fit and tall person. If that’s the worst thing to happen during my pregnancy, I will consider myself very lucky.
So while I know it’s completely normal to have a small bump at this point, the bombardment of the same thread of compliments makes me feel like I have to justify my small belly (and not too small baby) and it’s getting verbally exhausting. I started with the explanation, “Well, I’m just tall,” to, “Well….” to a closed mouth smile and attempt to move the conversation along.
I must not be the only one out there who has experienced this. And I bet it goes the other way, as in “Whoa, you look so big for X months along,” or, “Your stomach is HUGE!” My friend told me that people would ask her if she was sure she wasn’t having twins! Now that has gotta suck in its own way too. Who knows? I’ll probably be getting that “compliment” in a couple months and wondering what happened to my teeny tiny belly.
I’m sure these sort of comments stem from good intentions, and I distinctly remember myself saying something to this effect to a co-worker once. Unfortunately, these forms of flattery do not make me feel thin, beautiful, and motherly. They make me want to run to the OBGYN first chance I get to make sure my baby is developing at the appropriate rate; that my placenta is still supplying good nutrition; that I’m not totally insane.
Apparently this small belly issue, or non-issue, is quite common with people that are either very fit before their pregnancies, having their first babies (before your stomach muscles have completely relaxed and move South into a pooch), and when one is tall. I happen to fit into all of these categories, which is why my belly seems quite teeny tiny for the baby’s gestational age. I know, boo hoo hoo, I should cry myself to sleep at night being a fit and tall person. If that’s the worst thing to happen during my pregnancy, I will consider myself very lucky.
So while I know it’s completely normal to have a small bump at this point, the bombardment of the same thread of compliments makes me feel like I have to justify my small belly (and not too small baby) and it’s getting verbally exhausting. I started with the explanation, “Well, I’m just tall,” to, “Well….” to a closed mouth smile and attempt to move the conversation along.
I must not be the only one out there who has experienced this. And I bet it goes the other way, as in “Whoa, you look so big for X months along,” or, “Your stomach is HUGE!” My friend told me that people would ask her if she was sure she wasn’t having twins! Now that has gotta suck in its own way too. Who knows? I’ll probably be getting that “compliment” in a couple months and wondering what happened to my teeny tiny belly.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
It's Alive! It's Alive!
Feeling those first movements is thrilling and yet, there is something strange and even creepy about that first jab. It was Veteran's Day 2010, and by that point I thought I had felt some movements, but wasn't sure. Plus, I was already in my 20th week, so I was anticipating it and wondering what my baby was up to.
I had just worked out and was finally ready for some down time. Apparently, fetuses move more when the mother is quiet and still, and because of the lack of distractions, this creates more awareness in the mother as well. So as I lay back on the couch, I suddenly felt this little poke in my side. Wait, what? Was that it? I moved my shirt up to look at my belly and about 20 seconds later I felt an even stronger little poke and actually saw my skin move. Did I smile? No. Did I laugh? No. My first reaction to my baby really existing was a spiked heart rate and a feeling of uneasiness.
I realized in that moment that this baby wasn't just an idea, but a real something, living and moving and starting to have its own thoughts and responses in my own body. That was around the time I began to call myself "the vessel," not mommy-to-be. Isn't that what it boils down to? That women are vessels for new life to begin. It's like, duh, of course that's what it is. But experiencing it, well that was just weird!
When the kicking increased after several days, I got used to it. And now, another month later, I miss the kicks when the baby's having a quiet day. It's not only a reminder that something is coming in the future, but that it's happening right now. Some call it a miracle, some call it beautiful, some think it's just natural, and I'm the great mother-to-be who thought it was creepy - at first.
I had just worked out and was finally ready for some down time. Apparently, fetuses move more when the mother is quiet and still, and because of the lack of distractions, this creates more awareness in the mother as well. So as I lay back on the couch, I suddenly felt this little poke in my side. Wait, what? Was that it? I moved my shirt up to look at my belly and about 20 seconds later I felt an even stronger little poke and actually saw my skin move. Did I smile? No. Did I laugh? No. My first reaction to my baby really existing was a spiked heart rate and a feeling of uneasiness.
I realized in that moment that this baby wasn't just an idea, but a real something, living and moving and starting to have its own thoughts and responses in my own body. That was around the time I began to call myself "the vessel," not mommy-to-be. Isn't that what it boils down to? That women are vessels for new life to begin. It's like, duh, of course that's what it is. But experiencing it, well that was just weird!
When the kicking increased after several days, I got used to it. And now, another month later, I miss the kicks when the baby's having a quiet day. It's not only a reminder that something is coming in the future, but that it's happening right now. Some call it a miracle, some call it beautiful, some think it's just natural, and I'm the great mother-to-be who thought it was creepy - at first.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Happy 6 months little fetus!!!!
Today my baby-to-be has turned 24 weeks old in utero! That means it's been cooking for 5.5 months, but technically the doctors count those couple weeks before. I never got that, but I'll go with the flow. Here is my David Letterman style top ten surprises I have experienced in my pregnancy up to this point:
10) I always thought my belly would be way bigger at this point.
9) I thought I would feel the weight of my growing belly. I seem to only feel it in my lower back. If I couldn't see, I'd assume I was pregnant in my back.
8) People you have had minimal contact with want to know every detail about the baby and want you to update them after it's born (e.g., the dental hygienist I have seen 3 times in my life, the Bally's personal trainer I have said "hello" to in passing).
7) Some people who should be asking about the baby pretend you're not even pregnant (that can be a touchy one for many people).
6) I can go a typical amount of time without eating, but the second I am hungry, I am RAVENOUS and likely to eat an entire animal.
5) Toilets become a second work chair for incessant pee breaks.
4) Having to buy a whole new wardrobe and saying "I need more clothes" three weeks later is not just reserved for the bratty teenage girl anymore.
3) The smell of wine is like smelling perfume on a beautiful lady when you're a little kid. One day, one day.
2) Dreams have become more vivid, and sometimes I'd like to forget them.
And drum roll......
1) You think about being pregnant as much as teenage boys think about sex.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
On a Gender Bender
I have decided (through husbandly persuasion) that I am not going to find out the sex of the baby. My husband had his heart set on being surprised, and the more I thought of that idea, the more it grew on me. We’ll wait until the day of the birth and then not only do we get this new baby, but we’ll also find out if it’s a little guy or gal. It’s like the cherry on top.
What shocks me is that 95% percent of people (and I’m totally making up this figure) who hear that we’re choosing not to know the sex are shocked by this decision. Many people seem to think there would be absolutely NOOOOO way to plan for a baby when you don’t know what it is. How will I paint the room? How will I purchase clothing and bedding? How will I be able to wait those extra months? It seems a vast number of pregnant women run around shouting not only their babies gender off the rooftops, but also the baby’s name, personality traits, future college prospects…
What shocks me is that 95% percent of people (and I’m totally making up this figure) who hear that we’re choosing not to know the sex are shocked by this decision. Many people seem to think there would be absolutely NOOOOO way to plan for a baby when you don’t know what it is. How will I paint the room? How will I purchase clothing and bedding? How will I be able to wait those extra months? It seems a vast number of pregnant women run around shouting not only their babies gender off the rooftops, but also the baby’s name, personality traits, future college prospects…
I think it would also be great to find out the sex, but ladies, let’s get a hold of ourselves. Just because you might know whether to go blue or pink does not mean you know who your baby is. You still won’t know who your baby is 4 months after it’s born. Sometimes this lasts through puberty.
And please let’s not get our maternity panties in a twist. I think planning in this way and finding out the sex makes so much sense, and I’m likely to try it that way in the future. But please realize that the baby isn’t going to care if his room is the perfect shade of sky blue or her shirt is as pink as her cheeks. It’s only us amped up mommies-to-be that go on these gender benders.
Monday, November 29, 2010
A blog is born, or was it just conceived?
I am generally last on the bandwagon when it comes to new trends and progress in society. I resisted facebook for as long as I could; I couldn’t accept tapered jeans and leggings until I found myself wearing them last year (now I have two pairs of maternity jeggings); and today, when blogging is probably so 2008, I find myself setting up one of my own.
There is a caveat: I’m not an expert on pregnancy, nor am I a professional writer, but what I do come with is a set of opinions and the right amount of chutzpah.
My goal is to take a reader through the important, interesting, and funny parts of my pregnancy and motherhood, and also relate to other mothers, women who are pregnant, and women who’d like to one day be pregnant. By no means will I provide advice, but I will assert myself when it comes to controversial issues or even things I just think are ridiculous and must comment on.
I hope you enjoy!
-S
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