The Backhanded Belly Compliment

Sure, no one wants to look like a whale when she’s pregnant. And surely, many women must feel wonderful when they are told how thin they’ve remained during their pregnancies. However, there is one statement people (women) make that I am unable to take as flattery after hearing it for the 97th time. The backhanded belly compliment is when you hear this…every day…sometimes more than once a day, “Your belly is so small!” or “You don’t look that pregnant at all!” or “Wait, you’re past 6 months? It looks like you’re only 4 months along!”

I’m sure these sort of comments stem from good intentions, and I distinctly remember myself saying something to this effect to a co-worker once. Unfortunately, these forms of flattery do not make me feel thin, beautiful, and motherly. They make me want to run to the OBGYN first chance I get to make sure my baby is developing at the appropriate rate; that my placenta is still supplying good nutrition; that I’m not totally insane.

Apparently this small belly issue, or non-issue, is quite common with people that are either very fit before their pregnancies, having their first babies (before your stomach muscles have completely relaxed and move South into a pooch), and when one is tall. I happen to fit into all of these categories, which is why my belly seems quite teeny tiny for the baby’s gestational age. I know, boo hoo hoo, I should cry myself to sleep at night being a fit and tall person. If that’s the worst thing to happen during my pregnancy, I will consider myself very lucky.

So while I know it’s completely normal to have a small bump at this point, the bombardment of the same thread of compliments makes me feel like I have to justify my small belly (and not too small baby) and it’s getting verbally exhausting. I started with the explanation, “Well, I’m just tall,” to, “Well….” to a closed mouth smile and attempt to move the conversation along.

I must not be the only one out there who has experienced this. And I bet it goes the other way, as in “Whoa, you look so big for X months along,” or, “Your stomach is HUGE!” My friend told me that people would ask her if she was sure she wasn’t having twins! Now that has gotta suck in its own way too. Who knows? I’ll probably be getting that “compliment” in a couple months and wondering what happened to my teeny tiny belly.