It's Alive! It's Alive!

Feeling those first movements is thrilling and yet, there is something strange and even creepy about that first jab. It was Veteran's Day 2010, and by that point I thought I had felt some movements, but wasn't sure. Plus, I was already in my 20th week, so I was anticipating it and wondering what my baby was up to.

I had just worked out and was finally ready for some down time. Apparently, fetuses move more when the mother is quiet and still, and because of the lack of distractions, this creates more awareness in the mother as well. So as I lay back on the couch, I suddenly felt this little poke in my side. Wait, what? Was that it? I moved my shirt up to look at my belly and about 20 seconds later I felt an even stronger little poke and actually saw my skin move. Did I smile? No. Did I laugh? No. My first reaction to my baby really existing was a spiked heart rate and a feeling of uneasiness.

I realized in that moment that this baby wasn't just an idea, but a real something, living and moving and starting to have its own thoughts and responses in my own body. That was around the time I began to call myself "the vessel," not mommy-to-be. Isn't that what it boils down to? That women are vessels for new life to begin. It's like, duh, of course that's what it is. But experiencing it, well that was just weird!

When the kicking increased after several days, I got used to it. And now, another month later, I miss the kicks when the baby's having a quiet day. It's not only a reminder that something is coming in the future, but that it's happening right now. Some call it a miracle, some call it beautiful, some think it's just natural, and I'm the great mother-to-be who thought it was creepy - at first.